Is This What Death Feels Like?

I had to undergo a surgery last year and was given General Anesthesia (GA). I had never been put through it in my life and the thought of having to go through the whole process was exciting to me underneath all the pain.

I was pushed into an extremely cold theatre; Looked around while awaiting my turn. Then, if my memory serves me right, I was pushed into another room. People fully covered in green uniform were walking about, masked. Felt like a human abducted and brought into an alien ship.

They approached me. As I was given an oxygen mask to inhale from, another man injected something into me.  That was it. That was the moment.

I felt extremely tired; Didn’t do much to fight the drowsiness. I may have tried for a second and that was all.

The next thing I remember was waking up. I tried to speak as they called my name; Could not hear my own voice. I groaned and moaned. I was in pain. It hit me that the surgery was over. The pain indicated that but, the drowsiness was something new.

They injected more painkillers and pushed me to the ward after a while. I glanced at my mother and both grandmothers. I felt safe, and slowly dosed off.

Every time I woke up, I wanted to fall back asleep. When I was finally out of the drowsiness, I could not recollect anything. Bits and pieces of my memory came to me. Nothing of the surgery did. As I tried to make sense of it, I wondered, is this what death feels like? You feel yourself slowly falling asleep. The body could not feel any pain. The mind was completely oblivious to its surroundings. There was a deep wound on me and yet, there was no recollection of its existence.

I had to be put on GA for the second time later on to stitch up the wound. This time, I noticed that my conscience was submissive towards this drowsiness. It was not much different from the earlier experience. This time thinking, if I did not wake up again, would that have been death itself?